Taking stock isn’t easy. There just isn’t time to do everything in twenty four hours, let alone to try and take a few minutes for a self check. Keeping it together is in and of itself a full time responsibility. It can be like trying to climb two ladders at once, carrying two buckets of water, balancing an egg on each elbow and practicing brain surgery.

Being pulled in different directions is part of the test we’re each put through every day. In dealing with this struggle we begin to find parts of ourselves we didn’t even know existed. Sometimes we get pulled into areas which aren’t quite pleasant, but we always come back to ourselves. In the end there’s never any choice but to take it from where we are and move forward.

When it comes to important decisions one can’t remain divided or split. Eventually we have to put it down, pick up the essentials and head straight. Making that decision work for oneself can require sacrifice and compromise, but doesn’t mean going backwards. With all that’s important in this world an unnecessary slide is pointless.

There’s no way I’m letting myself waste time by making decisions I know I’ll later regret, especially when I can see them coming. See, when I was in college at the University of Connecticut working towards a degree in landscape architecture I went through harassment and discrimination which lasted until I graduated. This was mostly carried out by government employees using 9/11 fears as an excuse to break the laws. No matter how hard I worked or how well I did the treatment persisted. It was born out of ignorance of course, although small mindedness is no excuse.

It reminded me just how important my rights are and consequently those of others. I took a hard look at what was going on in my country and realized I didn’t like it and knew a change was important. This change was important not only for me but for the others who saw it, wanted it and needed it. Eventually my anger passed and I decided to act.

I began by following the steps according to the protocol in such matters by complaining within the institution and to the government. Next came contacting lawyers and organizations. The internet was another place I searched for options and found some. I put up a web site and started writing articles. I contacted college students and online activists regarding my concerns and found others who’ve had similar problems.

It wasn’t just groups who had experience with related issues, but ordinary people who had suffered while trying to simply live and accomplish something for themselves. Whatever our predicament or path, we all agreed on one thing; the country was headed in a bad direction. It seems everyone is on that wavelength now.

It made me look at Iraq, at the scaling back of personal rights after 9/11 and the worsening economy which occurred while I was working on getting the word out about what happened to me. Although they did affect me I never let them distract me from my job my responsibility of doing what I could to help make things better. I decided things were in need of repair and I had to be a part of the effort to fix what I could and work in the best way I could see towards that goal.

If I stopped I might attain a moments reprieve, but the nagging gnawing feeling of letting things slip would keep eating at me and I wasn’t prepared to let myself go that far back. I needed to make the best effort to move forward as fully as possible and knew I couldn’t afford the disaster of being split. Once the bags are packed everyone embarks on the path for progress in their own way, and we each have our own ideas about how best to right things. Once every so often we are in a position to act together.

We get the chance to speak as one nation and help bring change to the country through the electoral process and so I vote where I feel my voice is. Whoever speaks closest to my language and expresses views I wish to see included in legislation is the person I’m voting for regardless of who it is. All three are capable individuals, it’s a matter of the issues which lie closest to home and who will most likely help forward those views.

But I can’t get there alone, none of us can. For me working on my individual goal means I rely on others whether it’s those I contact to those who maintain severs, webmasters, etc. Many are people I didn’t realize I’d need or work with. For you too there may be people you occasionally rely on you didn’t realize you would. Perhaps some of them are surprising in just how little they end up disappointing you. For me not being able to accept help would mean not operating as close to one hundred percent as I could and that wouldn’t do.

I set the bar high for myself and thus my expectations of others may be high as well, but by giving them the opportunity to prove themselves I usually find my choice ends up having some merit. Sometimes my second choice ends up being the best I could have made. There are even times when I’m so busy looking down in order to try and not trip over the place I believe someone else’s bar would be that I end up bumping my head on it instead. Who would have figured?

To read about my experiences at the University of Connecticut go to www.lawsuitagainstuconn.com.