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comical?

Current rating: 0
04 May 2005
Date Edited: 04 May 2005 08:41:46 PM

by Anonymous

i suppose you think that jonathan swift was threatening to eat the catholic babies in "a modest proposal" can you prove that he didn't want to taste the sweet flesh of catholic baby? like someone else wrote in this thread, i suppose you honestly think when ken sees a beautiful woman he flies into the air like the rocketeer from the force of his ejaculation? here's a hint: when people are intending to be comical, you shouldn't take their comments at face value.

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Together at last...

Current rating: 0
04 May 2005

by Dancing Machine

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Jonathan Swift

It is a melancholy object to those who walk through this great town or travel in the country, when they see the streets, the roads, and cabin doors, crowded with beggars of the female sex, followed by three, four, or six children, all in rags and importuning every passenger for an alms...I think it is agreed by all parties that this prodigious number of children in the arms, or on the backs, or at the heels of their mothers, and frequently of their fathers, is in the present deplorable state of the kingdom a very great additional grievance; and, therefore, whoever could find out a fair, cheap, and easy method of making these children sound, useful members of the commonwealth, would deserve so well of the public as to have his statue set up for a preserver of the nation.

...I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to the least objection.
I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee or a ragout.
I do therefore humbly offer it to public consideration that of the hundred and twenty thousand children already computed, twenty thousand may be reserved for breed, whereof only one-fourth part to be males; which is more than we allow to sheep, black cattle or swine; and my reason is, that these children are seldom the fruits of marriage, a circumstance not much regarded by our savages, therefore one male will be sufficient to serve four females. That the remaining hundred thousand may, at a year old, be offered in the sale to the persons of quality and fortune through the kingdom; always advising the mother to let them suck plentifully in the last month, so as to render them plump and fat for a good table. A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends; and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter.

Ken Gagnon: a Swift for our time

Ken: Okay, kids, now let's go over the material one more time. Now, Tommy, what's the safest form of sex?

Tommy: Anal?

Ken: *rubs eyes* For the millionth time, Tommy, no. You're close, but the rest of the class could probably tell you that it's not really safe until you pull out at the last second and bust your load of man-juice on that bitch's face, now couldn't they?

Tommy: I'm sorry, Mr. Gagnon.

Ken: If you were really sorry, Tommy, you'd be having more anonymous unprotected anal sex.

Tommy: Please stop touching me, Mr. Gagnon.

...the kings of satire.